


The Care and Feeding of Children

by flibbertygigget



Series: The Other 51 [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Single Parent Aaron Burr, That's it that's the plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 10:22:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6191290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flibbertygigget/pseuds/flibbertygigget
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron Burr tries to deal with being a single father, making a million mistakes along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Care and Feeding of Children

The day that his wife passed away, Aaron let Theo sleep in his bed. She hadn't done that in years, not since Theodosia had gotten her a nightlight to chase away the shadows and the nightmares, and Aaron had been happy with that. Theo kicked when she slept. But when she slipped into the bed and curled against him, shoulders shaking with silent tears, Aaron had put an arm around her and held her close.

The pain was too new to examine. Aaron didn't know how he would continue without his Theodosia, but he had no choice. He had to try, for Theo's sake. He didn't sleep that night, but it was comforting to hear his daughter breathing. At least it meant that someone was there.

* * *

The day of the funeral had been... difficult. Neither he nor Theodosia had ever been particularly religious, so he didn't know what Theo thought of the preacher's well-meaning sermon about new life and eternity. But the next day was somehow even worse.

Theo didn't want to go to school. No matter how much he tried to reason with her, she wouldn't budge, so in the end he was forced to carry her in kicking and crying. By that point he was late for work, and he could only hope that his law partner would understand the situation.

"You're late, Burr," Hamilton said with a grin, but then his face turned serious. "I'm sorry about Theodosia." Aaron just nodded, booting up his computer. "If there's anything I can do to help-"

"We're doing fine," Aaron said quickly. Honestly, all he wanted to do was lose himself in his work as he had so often done. All he wanted was to be able to concentrate on something else for a while.

"How's little Theo holding up?" Aaron passed a hand over his eyes and sighed.

"She's doing as well as can be expected." He hesitated, but he wanted to talk about it to someone, and Hamilton was just about the closest friend he had. "She didn't want to go to school today. I don't know how her mother does- did it." Abruptly, a new wave a grief broke over him. He stared at the computer screen blankly, trying not to cry in front of Hamilton.

"She's probably still trying to process it all. Don't worry. She'll come around." Aaron nodded.

"Honestly, I think Theo's doing better at this than I am," he said. Hamilton leaned forward, inviting Aaron to say more. "I just- I can't believe she's gone. I mean, we had warning, but I wasn't ready for that call." He paused. "I should have been at the hospital more often."

"Take the day off." Aaron stared at Hamilton, who appeared to be completely serious. "You look like you haven't slept in days, Burr. Besides, you're rambling; you only do that when you're tired. Go home and take a nap. I'll cover for you."

"Are you sure?" Hamilton just made a shooing motion.

"Go. I've got this."

Aaron didn't like the fact that he managed to sleep for almost three hours when he got home, but he couldn't bring himself to regret taking Hamilton's offer. At least this way he was there to pick Theo up from school himself. When she saw him there, she ran and hugged him, burying her face in his stomach. It was only when she drew away that he saw that her face and his shirt were both wet.

"Hey, you okay?" he said. Theo hugged him again.

"I was worried you wouldn't come back," she said. Aaron just hugged her and tried not to cry.

* * *

Aaron's alarm went off at 4 am. He turned it off and went downstairs to the kitchen. It was only when he had opened all the cupboards that he realized that he needed to get pancake mix. He muttered and went out to the car.

Aaron had never made pancakes before. Before he had met Theodosia, he'd subsisted on a diet of microwaveable meals and takeout. When they started dating, Theodosia had taken it upon herself to make sure he didn't die of a heart attack at 30, a goal complicated by the fact that the one time he tried to make an actual meal for her he'd accidentally set himself on fire. But Theo had insisted that "Mom always made pancakes on my birthday," and Aaron was willing to do whatever it took to make her first birthday without her mother a little easier.

After picking up a random box of the mix, Aaron got to work. His first batch burned horribly. The second time he tried to flip the pancakes too early and they stuck to the spatula. But finally, when the clock was almost at 6:30, he managed to make a batch of lopsided but acceptable pancakes. It was only a few minutes later that Theo came down, dragging a stuffed giraffe behind her.

"Pancakes!" she shouted, running to the table. Aaron rolled his eyes as she pour on syrup.

"Yes, they're pancakes, not fish," he said. Theo scowled playfully at him, but she put aside the syrup and began to eat. When she was done, she gave Aaron a hug, getting syrup on the back of his t-shirt.

"Thanks, Dad!" she said. Aaron smiled and patted her on the back.

"Go get ready for school," he said.

* * *

When Hamilton saw the Youtube video that Aaron was watching, he started laughing. Aaron just glared at him.

"Work hasn't started yet," Aaron said.

"Why are you watching hair tutorials?" Hamilton said, still laughing.

"Theo has a piano recital tomorrow," Aaron said. "She wants her hair done up like this," he pulled out his phone and brought up the picture, handing it to Hamilton, "but Theodosia always used to do that kind of thing. So I have to find a way to figure this out before tomorrow."

"Wow, that's fancy," Hamilton said.

"Theodosia was brilliant with anything to do with her hands," Aaron said. "I don't know how to tell Theo that I'm not." Hamilton considered the picture for a moment, and then he grinned.

"You won't have to," he said, and then he slipped off the band that he used to tie his hair back.

"What are you doing?" Aaron said. Hamilton knelt on the ground, head a just the right height for Aaron to scratch his head like a dog's.

"Well, of course you won't be good at hair stuff if you haven't practiced," Hamilton said. "Theo's hair is only a little longer than mine, right?"

"Yes," Aaron said. "But are you sure that you want someone to walk in on me putting your hair up in a," he checked the tutorial, "a 'twist and pin updo.'" Hamilton snorted.

"Please," he said, "this is hardly the weirdest thing I've done in this office." Aaron decided not to respond to that.

* * *

"Thank you for letting me stay overnight, Mrs. Hamilton," said Theo before running off to play with Phillip and Angie. Eliza smiled at Aaron.

"If you can tell me how you taught her to be so polite, I'd be eternally grateful," she said teasingly. "Phillip seems to think that the best way to deal with disagreements is to get into fistfights."

"I'd blame your husband for that if I were you. After all, we did lose a case after he called the judge an ignoramus."

"That sounds like Alex," Eliza said.

"I have to thank you myself," Aaron said. "I'm not sure when I would do if you weren't willing to take her."

"Don't worry about it," Eliza said. "I'm happy to help. Now go win the court case." She gave Aaron a quick, friendly kiss on the cheek.

"Careful," Aaron said. "Hamilton might get the wrong idea." Eliza laughed, slapping him playfully on his arm.

"Go," she said. "Theo will be fine."

* * *

Theo wasn't fine.

Aaron paced back and forth in the waiting room, drawing confused or annoyed looks from the other people occupying the cheap plastic chairs. Before, when he waited for Theodosia to finish endless rounds of chemotherapy, he had managed to sit patiently, masking his anxiety for Theo's sake as she invariably sat next to him. But now there was no Theo keeping his pacing at bay. Now Theo was the one that he was waiting to be wheeled through the door.

"She's going to be fine," Hamilton said from his seat. "You caught the appendix early, so there isn't much risk."

"You're shit at being comforting," Aaron snapped. A 40-something soccer mom gave him a glare. "Besides, do you have any idea what kind of complications can come from surgery?"

"No, but I do know that you freaking out isn't helping anyone," Hamilton said. "Seriously, calm down. Theo's going to be fine."

The logical part of Aaron's mind knew that Hamilton was right, removing the appendix was a routine, simple procedure. But another part of him was panicking, reminding him of the way that Theodosia looked when she finished her chemo, reminding him that if anything happened to Theo he would have no one left. Aaron looked down at his hands. They were trembling.

"Here," Hamilton said, pulling Aaron down into a chair by his sleeve. "Sit. I'll try to find some coffee that isn't shit."

"There are _children_ here," the soccer mom said.

"Oh, piss off," Hamilton said. He patted Aaron's leg and left the waiting room, presumably in search of the coffee. The soccer mom made a small, offended noise, but thankfully she didn't talk again.

It was another half hour before the doctor came through the door. "Aaron Burr?" he said. Aaron stood quickly, slamming the chair against the wall in his haste.

"Yes? How is Theo?" he said.

"The surgery went off without a hitch. Your daughter's in recovery now if you want to see her." Aaron nodded, trailing after the doctor numbly. He didn't really believe that Theo was okay until he saw her, heart monitor beeping steadily.

* * *

It had been a year, a whole year since Theodosia had died. Aaron stared at the headstone, the purple flowers the Theo had picked propped up against it. Theo had gone back to the car, impatient to go to the playground as he had promised.

It had gotten easier. It felt like sacrilege to admit it, but Theodosia's absence was no longer the constant gaping wound in his chest. No, Aaron could breath now. Sometimes days would pass without him feeling the pain and grief. There were nights where he slept peacefully, as though the cold emptiness on the other side of the bed wasn't strange to him.

Aaron didn't want to move on. He feared more than anything the possibility of forgetting, of healing, of moving on and living as though Theodosia was less than his entire world. But he was moving on almost in spite of himself. He owed Theo that.

"I wish you were here," Aaron said softly to the gravestone. "I don't know how I've been doing this alone."

Theo yelled at him to come over and get them to the park, she wanted to play with Phillip. Aaron sighed. With one last look a the gravestone, he turned towards the car. Theo smiled at him, laughing, hair shimmering in the sunlight.

Somehow, Aaron knew that they would be alright.


End file.
